As part of my healing process, I am writing this. For anyone who has gone through sexual trauma, I wish you healing and peace. I hope you will become empowered from my experience.
On March 9, 2019, I went to my massage appointment just as I always had with my masseuse, Jason. I usually book a 1.5 hour relaxation massage but they had a 2 hour one so I took that one instead. I usually go with my husband but he wasn’t available so I took my sister to go get one also. I had been going to Jason for almost 3 years with no incident but this time, it was different. The massage started out the same as usual but then towards the last 15 minutes, he pressed his hands over my breasts. There was no accident about it as he continued to fondle me and I tried to use my hand to let him know that I was awake but he brushed them off and continued anyway. I was frozen and my heart was beating outside of my chest. I didn’t know what to do or think, was this really happening to me? I waited until the ordeal was over to where I could go to the front and report him. He acted as if nothing happened after the massage and as soon as I saw light in the reception room, I went up to the receptionist and asked for the manager or owner as soon as possible. I could tell she was flustered as she probably wasn’t expecting me to say that. A couple of minutes had passed and I didn’t want Jason to see me so I told another receptionist that I needed a manager or owner now. She made a call and took me outside to ask what was going on and all I could get out was my tears. I wailed and I wailed as I told her what had just happened to me. She hugged me and assured me that the owner was on their way to the spa.
I waited in the car while telling my sister and we both just became lifeless. The owner showed up and called to see where I was and I pointed her over my direction. I cried again and she told me that she was sorry and that she would dismiss him immediately and take him off the floor. She advised me not to call the cops but to put in a complaint against his massage license. After that ordeal, I decided to call the cops because I needed to document this tragic event. The cops showed up and it was two male officers. They took my statement but didn’t seem too focused on my situation. One of the officers was so casual, they commented on how annoyed they were that people kept texting them. I just went through a sexual assault and he was complaining about his texts – I was floored. They entered the salon to speak with the owner and Jason and came out to tell me that he denied everything so they weren’t able to make an arrest. I wailed and I screamed because I could not believe it. The officers didn’t care to call in any forensics to swab my breasts for massage oil or fingerprints and left us with a piece of paper to send to a detective to evaluate my case. I never felt so empty. We didn’t hear anything for two weeks and I sent in the paperwork for the district attorney to file criminal charges and prosecute Jason but they denied my case and stated that there was a lack of evidence. My heart just sank, I did everything by the book but yet nothing happened. I felt robbed of justice because I didn’t want Jason to do this to anyone else. I wasn’t going to stop. I also filed a complaint against his massage license with the State of Florida and they found cause to move forward to revoke or suspend his massage license. I was hopeful that I was going to stop Jason from doing this to anyone else. I decided not to pursue a claim with the business since they terminated him and was going to file a civil lawsuit against Jason. It wasn’t until I spoke with an attorney who asked if he was still working at the salon and I said I was sure he didn’t since the owner said she was going to let him go but I decided to call 5 months later and sure enough, he was still working there. My heart just sank, I couldn’t believe it.
I knew then what I had to do and that was to file a civil lawsuit against both the business and Jason. I was not going to let them both get away with this. After filing my lawsuits, I realized how slow the justice system is. You only meet every 1-2 months and it’s about proceeding with the lawsuit and then you wait another 1-2 months to meet again. It was draining but I was willing to risk it all because it was worth fighting for. I was grateful enough to have a boss who allowed me to go to my court dates and to keep fighting my cause.
It’s been almost two years and I am still waiting on the State of Florida to push a hearing on his massage license and my civil lawsuit is still going with no new updates. I called the State of Florida to ask if Jason was still allowed to work if there is a case pending against him and they said he was able to still work. I just couldn’t believe it. No one seemed to want justice more than me as the attorneys weren’t pushing hard enough and I didn’t know if it was even worth fighting for anymore.
Now I understand why sexual assault victims do not come forward. Oftentimes, their experiences are dismissed/discredited or they have to go to court so many times that they can’t risk losing their jobs. We have to come up with a better system to help these victims. There has to be better training for our police officers and government officials. Nothing is more invalidating than going through something like this and nothing being done about it.
To this day, I still have PTSD from my trauma. It usually happens at night and it keeps me awake. I think about the situation over and over in my head and what I could have done instead. My husband reassures me that I reacted correctly and that I should have never been put in such a situation. My mental health counselor also validates that as well. It’s hard not to think about it and the what if’s but I know that I must look forward because I cannot change the past.
To my victims, continue being strong. Do not let your abuser win. We will receive our justice, whether here on Earth or in Heaven. Do not be discouraged. I am with you, we will continue the fight and get through this together. Do not lose hope. We have so many reasons to keep moving forward, I hope you never stop.
Sincerely,
Melissa Lee